I don't happen to have a zillion followers; so I'm pretty sure the few that I have will indulge me in sharing my journey.
When you have been part of a couple, and a mother for more than 35 years, you learn to put other's needs in front of your own. Mostly for the greater good of the family as a whole, and it just seems to be what we as women tend to do. But when that situation changes... the kids grow up and leave home, you get divorced, there's an illness; whatever it is that causes the change, you are then forced into that final stage of growing up. It's scary at first, but eventually you find it's not so bad...and you get to like it!
In my Sunset years I am finding a self that I have neglected for a very long time. She has a good attitude:
She is not afraid to laugh at herself. Everything is not so serious that it overshadows the joy in life. She is finding her sense of style.... getting rid of the "Mom" clothes and the "around the house" outfits that seemed to take over her life.
She is enjoying friendships that have been left by the wayside because of busy schedules. Going out to lunch, writing a letter, visiting a neighbor; there's time for that now. Now, has become about what
SHE wants to do. Such an odd feeling still.
This new self takes time
to smell the roses! Ones that she herself planted simply because she loved the color...regardless of whether the deer will eat them or not. She is newly aware of the cycle of life- there is beauty in all things, both the beginnings and the endings.
And best of all, I suppose, is the feeling of acceptance that comes with growing up. Accepting oneself, with all the flaws and imperfections that come from living a full life.
Of course, there is always much work to do; but now I don't wait for others to do it. And there are are bills to pay; but now I am the one who pays them. There is a quiet peacefulness in relying only on yourself and God. Now, it is a blessing and not a necessity, when friends stop by to visit or help with a project. I am blessed with many, many good people in my life who love and support both me and my work....
For all of those, please consider this my way of publicly thanking you for being in my life!
P.S. The next post you see will also have a new 'grown up' look...